Hope

Dear blogger,
Its really a long time I didn't drop some words here.First of all,thank you so much God for giving me another peaceful day to live.No matter what happen,I am still alive today.Thank you,God.Currently,i have been staying at Perak for my microgravity competition.have to wait for another 25 days then I can go back.Wait for me,father and mother.I am just worry about my father and mother.I had been here for one and the half year.Times flies.And it was really fast.I learnt a lot here and thank you to my parents.I learnt how to save money.Before this,I am really having a too "comfortable" life and never care about the money.Not until I arrived here.And now every time I buy things,I will think and calculate first before I buy.I will save my money like one cucumber i can eat for two days.So this save a lot of my money.However,i won't save money untill my healthy being affected because I don't want my parent worry about me.Everytime I bought anything,I will think of my parent.They really spent too much on me.They really take good care of me.I don't know how to thank them.So i decide to save money.I want save money to buy something good.So i try not to buy uneccesary things but only daily life stuff.My mother birthday soon.Decide to buy something for her and also my father.I save RM 1000 in my bank for every semester because want to give back to my parent.Actually that money is mother give me to pay my rented house per semester.No matter how many time i told her no need,she insist it so I accept because I know no matter how many time or how i reject her,she will insist to give me so I better save it in my bank to pay her back after I finish my diploma.If not,I will buy something good for her and the left over i will give her face to face.My parent is getting old.I am an unfilial children before this so now I want to change.I want to give them a better life.I want to give them a comfortable life.Although I cannot do it now,I believe i can do it one day in the future.I decide I want to save a money in another account to bring my whole family to travel to foreign country.I have to start it right now because my father and mother is getting old.They can't wait and i understand.I calculate already.If I want to bring my whole family,I need at least Rm 30000.Hope I can do it.Hope I can give my parent a better life.I want them to know I really love them.22/12 I will be going to Japan for the competition.I am really lucky because I no need to pay one cents when i going there and yet NASA will give us allowance RM250 per day I think.I will be going one week.So I am really lucky.God hear my words.Besides,because we are counted win the competition so ANGKASA will give us RM1500 as the prize and I will get RM 750 but this money I think i will spent some on my lecturers because they help us lot for this project.Without them,I won;t have this opportunity.So I want to thanks them so much but I don't know how to express it to them.Tomorrow I have to go university to continue my project.Hope we can do it successfully and show it to Japanese people on 8/11.Between,this week saturday have to go to putrajaya to attend a ceremony organised by ANGKASA.It a formal ceremony and I not really like it but have to go too.So May god bless me and everyone on the earth.Thank you:)

XOXO,
Belle<3 strike="strike">

No more holiday.

Dear blogger,
How long I don't touch my blog?I think will be several years.LOL.Joking.It suppose be several weeks or months.Whatever.I don't count it though.Haha.I am at the library right now.Suppose to study my physic and statistic for next tuesday and thursday quiz but I am lazy.What the.Wake up!You shouldn't be lazy right now!.So many have to do until my final.
2/9 statistic quiz
4/9 physic quiz
4/9-6/9 -for my H.E assignment
12/9-biochemistry quiz
14/9-statistic presentation and assignment
20/9-physiology test
23/9-physical chemistry test
1/10-the beginning of final exam.
See that?A busy schedule waiting for me for the whole september.Oh gosh.And I have no more one month holiday.I have to back here early for my microgravity project.Seriously,I don't know what to do and I don't understand at all.What should i do?What I have to do?I really don't know.I am sorry father and mother.I can't accompany you guys this holiday.I am so sorry.I don't even tell them about this yet.I wonder how they will react.Nevermind.I believe in myself.I don't pray for a easier and better life but I pray that God can give me the strength to face all of these.Thank you so much.

Changing

Dear Blogger,
When is the last time I opened my blogger?I don't remember.I have been too busy for this semester.24 hours is really not enough for me.My schedule for this semester:
Monday:Class start from 8a.m till 11 a.m.Then,5p.m till 7p.m
Tuesday:Class start at 8a.m till 10a.m.2p.m till 7p.m.
Wednesday:10a.m till 1a.m
Thursday:8a.m till 11a.m
Friday:8a.m till 10a.m.5p.m till 7p.m

Do you see that,I have to wake up at 6.30a.m every morning for my 8 morning class in case I lost my bus to campus.Its really tiring.That what I could say.3 days until 7p.m.That is the worst part.And I hate Tuesday the most.Next week it much more busier.I have to go find my mentor to discuss about our presentation for next Friday on Wednesday.I think that will be until night time.OMG.I think I can start  puasa with all Malays.Funny right?The presentation is about the microgravity experiment.If we get chosen,we are going to present in front of the judges from ANGKASA.If our presentation can pass,then we will be going to Japan and to the Space for trying the experiment we created.I don't whether we will get it or not but I will give my best shot this time!Hope God can bless me.Give me a chance.I really want to try.It's interesting and yet scary.Haha.Then,about my life here,maybe because we are living together,so problems start to pop up between me and my friends.Just I don't know how to explain.Jut let it go.Everyone do have their own weakness.But I really hate busybody people.Damn serious.Whatever la.At first,I am regret actually when I came here.But now,when I thought back,I am not anymore.Without coming here,I will not learn to be independent.I will still scare of speaking or present in front of peoples although i am still now but at least I am better than before.I think.Haha.I will not learn how to do assignment.I will not learn what is the real life in University.I will never grow up.I will never learn the way to save money.I will not learn how to live alone.All those experience I will never get if I continue my A-level last time.I am really appreciate to that.And I am glad.I want to say billion of thank you to God for that.YOU always giving me the best and I will always believe that.Even seeing my friends graduate from A-level and Matriculation,my heart feel regret sometimes why I don't continue last time.I even blame myself for giving up.but now the situation is different.I learn to think mature,I learn to think far.Yes,I am slower than my friends.I take longer time to get my degree.But what the point of your that paper if you don't get a good job?Between,I never think of going work at foreign country because I don't want to leave my parent alone since I feel like I am throwing them to old folks home if i go to work at foreign country.So that not what I want.I love my family and I don't want to leave them.Is not that I am not independent,Is not that I am childish,it's just that I love my parents.I don't want they feel alone.Even they are getting older,I want to let them know I never left them.It's time for me to take care them.Yes I did earn a lot of money than in Malaysia if I work at foreign country.I can give them better life by using all those money.But they will feel alone because they will be very rare to see me.I don't want they feel that way.i don't want they feel alone.Yes,money is important but money is not everything.Think.Our parent want us need us not our money.So when I think this way,i feel no regret to come here.That what I keep telling myself and the main reason for me to push myself in my studies.

Dear Blogger,

17 more days and holiday is end.So fast and yet so slow.LOL!What am I saying right now?I am insane.Seriously,seeing one by one my friends are going to graduate from their either foundation,matrix,Form 6 or A-level course makes me a bit useless.BECAUSE I STILL STUCK IN DIPLOMA!They using the most form 6 two years to finish and me?3 years.Man!Seriously,I feel stupid.I feel idiot.I feel like a slow-learner.Everybody is graduate faster than me.Besides,I really want to find someone to talk to recently.!SASA!When Are You going FINISH your A2?!!Feel shock of figuring something out and feel like want to have a long crying night but of course I won't.I tell myself never cry.Be positive abut everything happen in your life!Arghh!~!! I think I am totally out of my mind now.Don't bother me.I am insane.

Random

Dear Blogger,
Aloha!I am back.LOL.My holiday left one more month only.I think a lot of things recently.Firstly,I think about my future.I keep on asking what shall I do in the future?What should I become in the future?What is the purpose of me working hard right now?Then,there is an answer pop in my mind.I keep telling keep comforting myself,i have to study hard so that in the future I can earn a lot of money and change my parent's hard life to the best.I want give them the best.This is the first answer pop in my mind every time I am struggle in my studies.No matter how hard is it,I always use this reason to push myself.I want to see their smile when they saw my result every time.When I see their smile,every things is worth no matter how hard or how it torture my life.Actually,I am not a person that good in studies.Seriously,my feeling to study is just normal.Because i am the youngest at home,I keep seeing the failure of my sisters in their studies and the disappointment on my parent's face,that why I am study so hard.My brother and sisters are smarter than me.Only they met the wrong friends at first so everything turn out bad.I feel pity but at least they are awake after they left secondary school.I feel relief.But somehow,when I asking myself one time at jogging,i ask myself to think deeply what I actually want,but it's still the same answer pop in my mind.I study hard because of my parents.But what my mum said was right before this.She told me don't study because of them.Study for yourself.They will not always be with me.In the future,I have to fight for myself.They can't always accompany me.I don't want worry about me.I don't like they worry about me.One day,when jogging,I told my mum I was worried about the next semester then she asked me why.I answered her that I scared I had no enough money to use since I have to pay for the rental around RM 960 and my loan is only RM 2500.I still haven count my school fee and those new books I have to buy.She told me not to worry because she said she would help me paid for the rental.I keep pushing keep rejecting tell her I don't need it.I still can survive even she don't give me money.I told her I would brought a lot of food with me before I go back study.However,she keeps told me don't worry about the rental.She will pay for me.At that moment,I feel useless.I already loan money and I still take money from my parents then what for I loan the money??!!Instead of arguing with her,i begin to silent.I decide to keep the money she gave me and try to use my loan to pay for the rental.If I able to survive,I will do it for the rest of my semester and when I finished semester,I will give back all the money to her.May god bless me.I believe I can do this.Besides,I am stuck in choosing path for degree.i still struggling.But maybe in the future I will get an answer.I pray for God for leading me to that answer and tell me what I actually want.

I will work hard:)

Dear blogger,

First of all,I want to thank God for blessing in my result for semester 2.I am really satisfy at my result and I am proud of myself of course at least my hard works before this did not waste at all.Haha.Guess how much my pointer?3.95!!I don't even believe my own eyes when I looked at it.haha!I was really happy when I saw it!!Anyway,I have to continue to work hard in order hit my goal.My goal is to study hard and get a high paid job in the future so that I able to bring my WHOLE family to oversea no matter where is it,Paris,Australia,New Zealand,Korea and others.You doesn't see wrong.Is WHOLE family but not only my parents.Seeing my friends going outstation with their parents make me a bit jealous.Of course I am jealous.Who don't?Especially a person like me who don't even has a passport.I am just being honest here.Okay.Of course they will showing off their "travelling" at the facebook,in front of me or somewhere else.I am jealous but I doesn't mad.Who don't show off their travelling to others?Haha.I not mad of their showing off but just don't be too over.When you too over you are just making a shame of yourself.You know that,right?Do I need to tell you why?Okay.Because those "travelling"was not using your own money but your parents.Are you happy for spent so much of your parent's money?If you are,then I am speechless.You are such an "obedient"children.LOL.So no matter what,of course I am jealous of them but somehow inside me are pity for them.Because they are just only want a little of attention from others.Funny right?haha.Nevermind.That's their business.I just have to take care of myself.I believe if I work hard I sure can hit my goal one day.It's just the matter of time right now.Thank god for everything.

My experience

Heyy!How long I don't stop by?And now I am start writing here again!Because I am having my holidays right now.Finally.I just want to say some of my experience here.Hmmm..How I gonna start?Maybe some of you thought study abroad is fun.No parents scold at you no parents babbling at you no parent ask you do this and that.So do I..I think like that also when the first day I went to study at Perak.But when time pass by,I not think that way anymore.When you study abroad,you will start to know how useless you are without your parent's helping,you will know how great your mother before this,you will know how much much you miss your family and the most importantly you will start to know how much you love your family.Those is from my experience.Seriously,I miss it when my mum said that"you are sitting here watching tv again?tomorrow is your exam!"or "Good luck.Don't stress out yourself.Just try your best,okay?God bless you."I miss all of this especially when I was going to sit for my exam.Tell you one thing.During the period I sat for my final examination,I can't slept well every night.Maybe was because of stress.But countless of time I woke up in the middle of night asked myself at where and I was really shocked when I saw myself not in my room.But when I saw my roommate I just realized that I was still in Perak.Sound funny right?But for me is NOT at all.Maybe its sound funny because you never experience this but when you study abroad and you start to experience everything I said here,you will feel that its not funny anymore.That night,I just realized how much I miss my family how much I love them.And I come to feel grateful I was taking diploma but not A-level.Because at least diploma save money and I no need work far from my home town my family.But when it comes to A-level,it costs a lot more than you taking a diploma and when you take the A-level cert,its quite a waste if you still work at Malaysia.So this is the reason why I still feel grateful that I take Diploma.But I do not regret to study at Perak too.because I learnt a lot of experience here.I knew a lot of friends here.I admit before this I was like quite racist but now no more.For me now,no matter which race are you,we still have a common that is we are still human being that create by GOD.So I don't understand why some of my friends here is kind of racist sometime.And seriously I not really like it.Whatever they think is their business.Not mine.Besides,I learnt how useless person was I.Luckily,I had great friends that help me a lot and I just don't know how to thank them.Next,I learnt a lot of lesson too.I tried hold back my anger whenever I was in bad mood,i tried be patience,I tried be thinking positively and everything.At there,we never because of a little things and mess up everything.We tolerate to each other weakness.We never pretend to be kind to each other and stab behind them when they are not around.We try to be honest with each other.That life I want.No pretending and always be honest.Lastly,I start to gain my knowledge about real life.Maybe you think you are useful when you stay at your home.You help your mum clean dishes,you help your mum fold shirt and others.I tell you that is just a small little matter.When you say outside,you will know how useless you are.Those little things doesn't help you much but you will realise how much your mum had help you before this at home.Ask yourself how many times you have enter the kitchen and cook lunch or dinner for your whole family?Ask yourself how many homecook dishes you know how to cook?Ask yourself can you wash your shirt without the helping of washing machine?Ask yourself what should you do when there is a large dirt on your shirt and you can't wash it off no matter how many or how hard you brush it?Ask yourself what you will do to save your money?Ask yourself do you know how to look for the fresh fruits,fresh vegetables,chickens or fish like your mum always do at supermarket?Ask yourself do you know how to take care yourself when you sick?If you sure yourself know everything I mention above,congratulation!you are a useful person.But if you only know some of them,sorry to say you are still useless person.Don't too proud of yourself.and never proud.I come to understand the reason why my parents always ask me do this and do that.Because they want to become independent.They want me to learn knowledge about real life.They want me to prepare to enter the real life.They always told me if you don't want do now who gonna help you when we die?who gonna help you in the future?And I always like turn a deaf ear.And now I understand why.Maybe its tired but it worth.Seriously.So,I just want to tell you try to help your parent as much as possible,its not only helping them but also helping yourself.Understand?And now at home I will help my parent as much as I can in this two month.Maybe tired but I am happy my parent are happy at least,right?Maybe sometime your parent is quite annoy,but no parent babbling without any reason.Believe me.Although this always heard in the drama,its truth.I thank Jesus everyday for let me living in this world one more day everytime I able to wake up in the early morning.Because like this I can spent one more day with my family and friends.Like that I can see this world created by God one more day.Maybe life is tough,but behind the tough is always be a happiness.Everything happen for a reason.Life is just unpredictable.Life is a choice.Its a choice you want you day to be a happy day or a say day every morning you wake up.Maybe there will be some unlucky thing happen to you but think more deeply,at least you are alive right?Thank God for that.Or maybe you lose someone important like me last year I lost my beloved grandfather and best friend in only one week time.I cry like a baby.But when I calm down,I start to realize maybe is a good thing they left me.At least they are peaceful.Cry doesn't solve any problem.Everyone will die one day.No one can run away from death.So if you want to cry,why don't you just change your cry to laughter?change your sadness into a big smile?I think those person left you will be happy too.So,I don't cry anymore but smile whenever I think about them.I thank them for becoming part of my life.Thank you them for colouring my life.So this is my experience since I study at Perak.Hope can help whoever read this:).Thank God for blessing and May god bless friends who are sitting for their upcoming examination especially for all my A-level friends that are going to sit for their A2 exam soon.:)